In a world full of podcasters talking about nonsense… you will find us there. However, we will spare each other the degradation of having to hear your own voice, and instead write it out. For $89.99, we will send you the raw voice memo! You can hear Becky tapping her phone to make sure the screen doesn’t go dark during the recording, along with Alisia hurrying everyone up because her Doordasher was en route.
Becky: Recording for Sunbleacht. I’m very excited. First question, all right. Ladies, how would you describe your sense of style?
Alisia: Canvas-y. Black, white, brown, and beige. It’s not very “out there,” it’s basic in color. I like to throw on a fun jacket or a fun purse which I feel will spice things up – or maybe a fun shoe – a big shoe. I like my loafers. I love my fur coat, too. It’s so Russian, and I feel my best when I put my fur coat on – it just makes every outfit look better.
Graciela: I’m never good at describing my personal style. I mainly own more basic styles – lots of black and white colors.
Alisia: Chic.
Graciela: I just always want to buy lace tops that seem so impractical to wear because they’re see-through, but I just love them,so I get them. I saw this one that’s basically a lingerie top, and I haven’t really figured out how to wear it – but I will figure it out one day. Last year, I was unpacking all of my winter stuff that I had in storage in New York, and I had like 5 million coats. Because when it’s cold, that’s my outfit. I was like, “ohh…” but I still buy more.
Alisia: Nothing’s wrong with that.
Becky: Beachy and colorful. I don’t like polyester. I think polyester looks like plastic. I like big statement sunglasses and even my big tortoiseshell glasses that I wear to class. I love pink, purple, and blue. For shoes I like heels.
Alisia: I’ve noticed, that in comparison to people our age – and just other people I see out and about period – the three of us are always in high heels. Usually very high heels. I love my platform high pumps. I’ve noticed that we’re always taller than everyone whenever we’re out.
Graciela: One time, I wore my taller boots out and I literally was a foot taller than everyone.
Alisia: When we were at the Mardi Gras ball, I wore one heel and one fracture boot which was a crazy choice to make. Nobody saw the heel under my dress, but I wore it anyway.
Becky: It feels great to be so tall.
Alisia: I see Becky in a cotton skirt, like a little flowy skirt. There’s a photo of you in that blue and white striped skirt [in Miami] If I had to pick one item of clothing that describes your style, it’d be that.
Becky: Okay, second question. What does your future home look like?
Alisia: A lot of art – like a ridiculous amount of art. Eclectic art. Darker colors on the inside because my [New Orleans] house is very dark on the inside, and I love it. Lots of big windows. No overhead white lighting – that’s a strict policy anywhere I live. I’ll find a cool interior designer. My dad’s good friend is an interior designer: I like his style, he likes dark colors too. Again, a lot of art, for sure. I’m going to be spending most of my money on art, buying from artists living in New York. I want to buy from people I know, people I’ve met that I think are interesting. We’ve got to support the living artists. I’ll make a painting or two for my house. I want an art studio. In an ideal world I live above my art studio. Also I want to live in the East Village, with a Central Park view, which is impossible in the East Village.
Becky: By the time you’ll own a home there’ll be artificial-intelligence generated screens to give you a view of Central Park, don’t worry. Graciela, what about you?
Graciela: I have multiple homes, naturally.
Becky: Real.
Graciela: I have a lot of stuff saved on Pinterest. I want to have a nice kitchen – I also want a big countertop – because I love baking and I want to cook. I feel like every time I’ve had a kitchen in New York, there’s been some kind of issue, so I haven’t been able to cook. I also need a big closet, and I’d also like a library for all of my books and a little reading nook. I’d have a rooftop or balcony with a nice view. I saw this forest green couch that I had an obsession with in some home goods store that I’d love to have.
Becky: I have a lot of ideas, detailed down to the very last door and sink handle. Nautical beach theme. I wanna live on the beach in New York. And hopefully a nice vacation home in the south of France overlooking the Mediterranean. I’d have a tennis court and a small plunge pool — instead of a huge swimming pool — because I wouldn’t really use it that much since the ocean would be right there. I would rather have space for the tennis court. Mediterranean style, red tile roof, stucco, nice white shutters. I want a fresco in my foyer and a curved organic-form staircase. Bedroom with a nice balcony that I can have a coffee on. For the living room I want an open concept, airy, light, with fun accents like pink and purple and blue. Ooh, I want a le roche-bobois bubble couch. In terms of art, I want a marble sculpture of me in my house. For the sake of keeping it PG-13, I’ll redact further information about this sculpture.
Alisia: Ooh yes, I want one too.
Graciela: Yes!
Becky: We could get a group figure of us.
Alisia: Maybe Becky can get a bronze one and then I’ll make a casting and then you can melt yours to make coins. I’ll just carry around melted gold in my purse.
Becky: My IRL Bitcoin. Or I can use your melted gold to make a really great crowbar to defend myself with on the subway in New York.
We digress to discuss our former hostile and …clean… living conditions.
Alisia: What’s wrong with rice in the sink? Leaving the oven on overnight four different times?
Becky: There is nothing wrong with flakes of fried egg and ketchup stains on the stove burner.
Becky, quickly because Alisia has motioned that the door dasher is a few minutes away: Okay, third question. What does the perfect date look like for you two?
Alisia: We go and we sit at a cool restaurant and I have about three pornstar martinis. And he really wants to hear what I have to say about art and about things I’m interested in. And then we walk around after and we get dessert somewhere. I really want to be somewhere cool, with a good scene of people, you know, like Fanelli or Lucien. Or Mari Vanna so I can show him my culture. Potatoes, you know.
Becky: You wouldn’t be dating a Russian guy?
Alisia, in a Russian accent: Maybe. Potato, big important.
Alisia: After, he would take me somewhere cool and he’d have a table just for the two of us. Graciela?
Graciela: He would definitely be the one to pay.
Alisia: Non-negotiable.
Graciela: I feel like I want to do something fun together. I’d want him to decide for us, so he has to be the one to come up with that.
Becky: OK, here’s my idea: we go to Washington Square Park and we throw raw eggs at the skaters and also the protesters. Then we are approached by a podcaster. I am canceled online. The New York Post writes an article about me the next day. We go to a comedy club. I interrupt the comedian because at this point I’ve also had three drinks. Then we go to Bobst.
Alisia: Oh, it gets worse.
Becky: I mansplain Celtic mythology to him.
Graciela: How is he getting into Bobst?
Becky: I sneak him in under the guise that he’s a visiting professor, he has to make a topic up on the spot, that’s the second test.
Alisia: Is he getting a second date?
Becky: There’s no one else who will throw eggs at people in Washington Square Park with him.
Alisia’s Doordash order has arrived: we break so that we can clear a plate of fruit and Nutella.
Sunbleacht 
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